Tuesday, May 5, 2009
That’s the way I feel about now; like I’ve just about flunked out of life. The CNA school didn’t start out well from the start and made me feel worse the longer I went. This wasn’t the reinvention I had searched for; longed for; become separated from my husband for. I pulled the plug today.
I sit here back at square one looking out on another grey, windy, and of course, rainy coastal day. Something has got to change. I’ve got to rise up from my inertia and fly off to some distant point so looking backward gives me some perspective.
If the weather clears enough to cross the mountain passes I will soon go to visit my folks in Bend. Then I and the cat will probably head south, stopping for a measure of solace with a dear friend in California on the way to reunite with lonely husband. Don’t ask me what comes next. I have no clue. Right now it’s enough to be out from under Nurse Ratchet and the mistake I almost made of becoming something that just wasn’t me.